Reverb10 - December 3

Moment. 

Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors, etc).

There are a few that I could write about, some that were joyous and some that were not so joyous but downright sad, but it says to pick just one.  I don't know how vivid I can be with it, but I think I can describe it to some extent.

The moment of choice would be the last mile of the Chicago Marathon. 

The temperature had reached up to 88deg and the alert level was at a maximum.  I was covered in salt, and so much so that my cute Lulu shorts were stiff as a board from all of it.  All along the route I was continuously sprayed with water hoses, or misters or used green sponges that were in baby wading pools filled with ice cold water.  But in between the dousings, the humidity was so low that your clothes would pretty much immediately dry, so my shorts would just stiffen up with the salt residue.

I had watched Spirit of the Marathon a bazillion times and I knew that course inside and out, and especially that last bit because I memorized that part in the movie as Deena Kastor was in tears running it knowing that she pretty much had it in the bag as long as her arms didnt give out like her legs had pretty much done already.

While I am no DK, I do know how awful one can feel in any given long distance race on any given day.  You can train and train and train and yes, you have expectations of what your performance might be, or what the weather should be...but...its a fucking crap shoot no matter what way you slice it.

And after mile 21, and no I didnt hit the 'wall' but the heat had gotten to me and I was mentally struggling.  It was at mile 22 where I wanted to quit.

But somehow I made it to the mile 25 mile marker and like I said I knew I was going to make it after all.  I had the one 'hill' to tackle in the last 300m of the route ... and as I came closer to it and looked to my right I could visibly see that indeed there was a hill.  A hill man-made and of concrete.  But its not as if I could 'see' this hill, I could only see what appeared to be a 'wall' of people.  I knew the next turn was going to be to my left so I went ahead and went wide on the tangent and settled in on my way up.  I saw the 100m to go as I made the turn and there was the Finish line.  Just like in the movie.

I don't know where my burst of energy came from during this last little bit but it was a defining "I am alive" moment indeed.  I had just run the freaking marathon that nightmares might be made of (at least so far in my experiences), and yet I felt this huge rush of exhileration.  I saw what appeared to be tons of people lining that portion of the route, and the sound of their screams was deafening.  Even for us measly little slow middle of the pack and farther back runners on this very hot day...the sun blaring down on me for the last 13 miles, I was sunburnt, was dehydrated and completely and utterly mentally drained...

When I crossed that finish line it was truly a thank you God for allowing me to be able to experience this kind of joy...I had had a damn good race in my back pocket up until around 18 or so ... I was proud of how I did given the conditions...

A person needs to sometimes experience pain, in some form, to truly know you are alive...

Right now you're bruised and bleeding

I see the hurt within your eyes

I know your pain is there for a reason

You need to feel just to know you're alive