Reverb10 - December 10

Wisdom.

What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

Before we get to that, I don't think I have blogged any workouts since Tuesday!

• Tuesday - 4 mile run (am)  hot yoga (pm)
• Wednesday - 4 mile tempo run (was supposed to do an easy run coming off of the half marathon of 5-6 miles or so, but with time constraints from one job to the other that day/night I had to do what I think is a good alternative to just doing reduced mileage.  And that is to turn your run into a speed workout of sorts.  I have to really be creative with a route that wont slow me down so I run a lot through the neighborhoods to bypass traffic and/or stop signs/red lights.  I am pretty sure people that see me running think I must be lost or something!!!)
• Thursday - no run (am); just too tired as after running I worked my PT 2nd job and didnt get home till around 9:30pm.  I was just beat.   Hot yoga though in the (pm)!!!!!!!! 
• Friday - I am taking today off; running 12 miles in the morning; a 10 mile flat route and then 2 miles of hills on the cloverleaf!!!

I have definitely taken it easy this week, but I figure coming off the race on Sunday, I deserved it!

OK, where were we?  Oh yeah:

Wisdom.

What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

The wisest huh?  Well the wisest might not have made me the most popular person, but then again we aren't in high school anymore are we?  Yet somehow...at times it certainly seemed like it.

The wisest decision I made this year (and honestly I made a few if I am being completely honest) was to stop trying to be something/someone I wasn't and basically living a lie as to who my true self was/is.

I was doing things I didn't even really want to do at times. 
I was going places I didn't even want to go to
I was buying things I thought I had to buy because it made me like everyone else and that was 'normal'.
I was being nice and being 'friends' with people I couldn't stand.
I was squashing a lot of feelings, keeping them to myself instead of being honest on the outside.

Basically I became true to myself.

Before my father died, I got a simple silver band (ring) from him with the inscription that said: To Thine Own Self Be True.

For 15 years (he died in October 1995) while I honestly tried more often than not to live this mantra, I failed at it too because sometimes, if you follow your own path and dance to the beat of your own drum, sometimes you find yourself a little bit alone, and I needed something or others to make me get through whatever crisis was going on in my head at the time. 

This is where that whole post about 'beautifully different' came into play as well.  I think some folks might find me a bit off (different) because of my choices in life, past and present I guess.  Its just that they don't understand that before 2010 I pretty much lived to please others or to run away with whatever I could find/use to forget all the demons that haunt(ed) me.

So choosing to be me and to throw what is popular or hip with this person, this group or whatever, really narrowed my pool of (truuuuuuuuuue) friends down to a minimum.  Yes, I still am acquaintances with a loooooooooot of people; still probably considered a social butterfly; and I know I am still very well liked; but just not 'included' anymore because I was picky about what invitations I accepted and from whom...its not like I just lost all my friends, but I don't share a whole lot with many anymore, and I don't hang out with a lot anymore...because well, we just aren't the same.  I could say more, but I'm not. 

Let's just say that with some things (and people), less is definitely more.

All I can say to 'how has it all played out' is that its played out very well...yeah it has taken some getting use to I admit.  I finally feel like myself and am completely at peace with my decision to just be.