Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Clearing the Air

Yesterday I took quite a beating on my Facebook status when I mentioned the stubborn 2 lbs saga...

So in case anyone might think the same way about my 'dilemma'; let me enlighten you...

I am not, not now, not before and not in the future will be losing this weight for vanity reasons...I am PERFECTLY content (I will admit I had some body image issues before..) with my naked self, and what I see in the mirror every single morning and beyond that, that I stand before it...I am all about naked, be certain of that...and those of you who see me regularly know that I have no issue with wearing running attire that most women cringe at.  I don't like hot weather, and when it gets warm around here, I am shedding clothes...

So for those of you who may, and I said 'may' be thinking, oooh she's focusing on the number and not the overall health, or oooh she's doing this for the wrong reason...she might have a problem...or maybe you think...oooh I see a potential for eating disorder...just stop it.

The single reason I am adamant about a number is simple:  Its about how much weight I have to lug across 26.2 miles for however long it takes me to qualify for Boston; which who knows it could take me 4 freaking more years...but thats another story for another day...

The lower that number is on the scale (within reason for Gods sake), the easier it is for me to be 'faster'...To work out and cross train...that just makes me stronger as well, which is indeed important come race day.

I do not, I repeat, do not, have natural talent...I dont have the lung capacity of some athletes in this sport, nor do I have the gift of speed or anything else for that matter.  There are things I just dont have control over...

All I have is my heart. 

And I do have control over what I put into my body, and how much...and I know what it needs to function (well) thank you very much...

And if I have to lose lbs to up my chances, then that is what I will do.  And while I am at it, don't even think that the last 2 lbs will be the last of it...I know what number I need to be at, and its further away than 2 lbs...

You're either for me or against me...if you have opinions that are negative, then please keep them to yourselves or talk amongst yourselves about my 'problem'...Just don't do it where I am going to find out about it...

4 comments:

amber said...

hey naked!
i think you look awesome! and i know you have worked so hard to lose the weight! keep at it and 2 lbs will come off soon. throw some interval cardio in there. thats what usually works for me. especially with the darned belly fat. : )

p.s. whos boston? hehe.

-amber

Junie B said...

omg you left a comment?? love it!
yeah i mixed it up in the gym yesterday big time, throwing some interval cardio in between sets of weights. all i know is my upper body is sore sore sore today!

see you saturday!

and yeah, who IS boston anyway? ;o)

Sam said...

Those who don't understand a person's goal and what it takes to get there will always be critical of different steps taken. It's the big picture that's missed. You're getting healthier, feeling better, seeing yourself better, and you're happier. As long as you're being good to yourself, try not to let the many voices and opinions out there bring you down. They'll always be out there no matter what you do, good or bad. And the sad part, is no matter what, some will always choose to keep the same opinion and say the same stuff. As you told me once, "To Thine Own Self Be True". :)

Junie B said...

Sam,
Thank you for that reminder. I still do that, and unfortunately, in most cases, it makes for some 'lone wolf' times. The majority of my friends don't understand I dont think, even though they themselves are runners.