Friday, June 4, 2010



I find this piece from The Today Show interesting and refreshing.
Here's a little insight to me as a person.
As a SINGLE woman in her 40's, and yes, never married, just like Samantha in SATC, its by design.
I have never been interested in marriage.  I have had my share of 'marriages', the longest one being with John, who yes, was and probably will always be the love of my life.  We lived together for 7 years; I bought a house, we shared a mailbox, secrets, fights, make ups, bills, chores...we were faithful, etc., just like any other married couple.
We said I love you every time we parted and every time before we hung up the phone.
We went to England, Mexico (several times), and France together, and traveled here in the States too.
But just like 'real' married people, we 'divorced'.  And it was my fault.  No, I didnt cheat, but I did make some very wrong decisions, among those of saying "I think we need to split up".
Anyway, I know that people have judged me...'whats wrong with her?' ... Let me assure you there isnt anything wrong with me.  Or with any woman who chooses to stay single till whatever age...Maybe forever...There were other live in marriages along the way...2 were for 1-2 years, another was for 3...So yeah, I've been married, believe me...just not on paper.
I know a LOT of women who, in their 30's, 40's and 50's who have NEVER married...and honestly could care less if they do or not...
And really what is marriage really for anyway?  So that if you have kids, they're 'legal'?
Having children was never part of my life plan either...but yes, I've had kids as well...Every other weekend for a couple of those 'marriages'.  And having to hear 'I dont have to listen to you, YOU'RE not my momma' was something I heard more often than I cared to... :o)

I've even been engaged a time or two (5), but just never could go through with it...
Here's the thing, everyone has their reasons for thinking women are supposed to be married I guess...but thankfully over the years, its becoming more and more PC NOT to be married, or ever married...
So you married people out there, or people who want to be married, give us a break you know?
We are the way we are, for a reason, and I guarantee you its not the reason you might think...

8 comments:

Lauren said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lauren said...

ahhhh so I left a comment but it seemed stupid so I'm leaving a different one lol.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being older and single... or single at any age really. I think people should do what makes them happy and if they really like the traditional aspect of marriage, then go for it. But it's not for everyone :D

Junie B said...

Lauren, I saw your post as it came through to my email. I just want to say that its ok at 21 to be selfish :O) I am going to copy and paste for you because i though it was good...

its ok at my age too. :o)

the freedom is wonderful; and i will say though that the longer you go without being married and having that freedom, the HARDER it is to give it up...right now i struggle with just seeing someone a couple of times a week... LOL

Nicole C. said...

Amen! The older I get, the more I can't envision getting/being married. I'm perfectly fine with that, and I wish everyone else was, too!

Lauren said...

Awww thank you Junie :D

Pony and Petey said...

And on the other side, there's nothing wrong or boring or "tied down" about being happily married to a wonderful person.

I just celebrated my 24th anniversary to a simply wonderful man and I cannot imagine my life without him. I thank God every day for bringing us together and keeping us together!

I'm so happy that times have changed and a single woman isn't judged as "damaged goods, old maid" or whatever other derogatory term someone wants to use.

I hope the day comes when married childless women will not be judged either!

Thanks, JB, for being interesting, relevant and thought-provoking = )

Gaslight ;-) said...

Here, here, Pony (or is it hear, hear? I swear to look it up someday).
Some people were BORN to be mommas, but I am not one of them, for a cup fulla reasons.

Junie B said...

you two (Anna and Pony) are probably only the 2 people that i foresee a lifelong marriage with your chosens. for the most part, i would say that about 90% of my friends, both past and present have gone through divorce at least once. my thought process my WHOLE life was that i didnt believe in divorce. and all the times i backed out of getting married it was for the sole reason that i KNEW i could not spend the rest of my life with that person. that has ONLY happened once (with John) where I WANTED to be married. to this day i regret making the choices i did as it pertains to that relationship.

there hasnt been one single person since him that ive loved quite so deeply and completely.