Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Choose, Be Chosen, and Having Options in Life

Since returning home to Texas I, by accident, have reconnected with a gentleman from a few years ago. I was in the process of going through my phone contacts to delete etc., before switching back over to a TX number and NORMAL service (seriously the service I took while there was CRAP! and since being back I've been in roaming mode but I digress..) and I saw the name Ryan. I THOUGHT it was my old school GW friend Ryan, but alas it was not. But I am not complaining. Its been great fun having the crazy flirty conversations with him. We've always seemed to find each other again, either on purpose or in this case accidentally.

We were talking the other night and he asked me a question: 

What is one thing that has changed about about you over the past couple of years?

At first I was like, oh I have no idea, but when he pressed me for SOMETHING, and I thought about it for a minute I realized that a LOT has changed about me in the past couple of years. I think instinctively I am generally hesitant to talk about things especially about the last 2 years in Nebraska because honestly sometimes I feel bad about how some things I say are so negative. I do not mean to bash but damn... LOL

Anyway the first thing I told him was that I have learned to never take anything for granted. Not my family, not my friends, not my relationships, not being able to go to the movies any time you want, not able to go to as many grocery stores as you want, not being able to go outside and not freeze to death...you get the idea right?

There hasn't been a day that has gone by where I don't smile, laugh, embrace and just overall feel BLESSED. There is SO much that money cannot buy and yet I see people all the time, people that I know, STILL put so much stock in
things. And believe its not lost on me because just this past Saturday while running with Kenyan Way, for some reason I was thinking of something that made me realize that I was wearing for a hot, sweaty run, added up to approximately $700. What the hell???? Anyway it was mostly that I was thinking my outfit was $100 because as I said, I was a hot sweaty mess...and how ridiculous was that?

So yeah, I totally get that its super nice to be able to afford such luxuries, but what I took for granted was the OPPORTUNITY of just being able to go to the store, any store. Not just 2 choices. And any restaurant, not just 4 choices. Or any movie, again just 2 choices; not only on the movie but ALSO ON THE TIME. Ugh.

I know. Tragic. Not even. I do realize that that is how so many live and don't know any thing else. And those that might even know, but LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE the way of life. It just didn't work for me.

I have completely embraced just the simple art of manuevering a crazy busy grocery store. Sitting in traffic. Standing in line. Sweating to death. Every. Single. Thing. brings me pure joy.

I am not sure if Ryan regretted his question...just kidding, he didn't, You see Ryan is 20 years younger than I am (I know right??? ;) and while we have a huge attraction for each other in a lot of ways, we also have a great communicative passion and love talking about any and everything. I've missed having him in my life whether it was IRL or just via phone. We thought back to why we stopped and it was right after my Mom had passed away...and I lost one of my best friends shortly thereafter as well somehow. I was falling apart on so many levels and Ryan with his great all the time mood and passion for life just irritated me. Sad.

Now we share the passions of life and I can relate on a whole different level! And I think he is ecstatic that I have found a renewed sense of life, joy and happiness.

I now get what he has been trying to tell me all along. And as a side note, he has started running. Mostly for vanity reasons (the boy is a BSH I gotta tell ya...wow; but he thinks he needs to be more of everything awesome as he puts it), but hey he's running!

So yeah, thats just ONE thing that has changed about me the past couple of years.

And if I could, somehow, some way convey to anyone who will listen ... is that make the choice every single day to be happy. Maybe not the entire day (that really is unrealistic) but for the most part, yeah YOU have the power to be happy. Find the silver lining...etc. Its so worth it!!!


In other news I am now signed up for two 5K's, a 10K, and 3 half marathons, with one being in Miami end of January (I registered for that one months ago though).

I'm sure there will be more as there are a LOT of half marathon opportunities right here in the area from now until the end of the year. I am SO EXCITED to be back... Seriously. So happy.

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