Friday, May 20, 2011

Debauchery of Bay to Breakers (San Francisco, CA)

After the third naked guy, the shock of it all began to wear thin.

Thankfully I was faster that the naked people so I just saw ass until that one fateful time where I happened at the most inopportune time to look to my right and there I saw a wanker wanking as the man I was passing was actually jogging...just to be clear the naked people I saw were all men (although there were a few women in just pasties on their boobs but had bikini bottoms or shorts on). And when I say men I mean every one of them were at least over 50, and I would venture to guess over 60, and overweight. One of the naked men I passed was also so old and was using a cane to walk his way over the hills and through the woods(to the ocean I go).

Saggy droopy drawers are one thing, but saggy droopy ass on an old man is quite another....

But it wasn’t just birthday suits that people ran with at the Bay to Breakers. At this cross-city marathon/costume-party, San Franciscans donned everything from pink genies to garter belts to Viking helmets.

If you haven’t heard of Bay to Breakers (and I have talked enough about it to think some of you used Google, it’s a race that starts from the Bay, at the Eastern side of the city (Embarcadero and Howard), and ends at the Breakers, at the Western side of the city (Ocean Beach). It’s a total of 7.46 miles.  Basically 7.46 miles of parade unless you get a head start!

The participants range from diehard marathoners (who typically finish this race way inside an hour, with the current record being about 34 minutes) to families with kids.

I was not among the costumer contingent (I opted out so as not to mess up my cute tutu that Nicole made for me; droopy saggy tutu would be no bueno), and while I didnt finish within an hour (not too much over), I still consider myself one of the more 'serious' runners of this race, so I missed seeing a lot of the spectacle that was obviously going on behind me...

Which was fine with me. The costumers are an integral part of the Bay to Breakers experience and while I missed the majority of that spectacle, I saw enough to hold me over...

Just imagine a Halloween parade gone mad. With beer (although I didnt see any of this as it was 'banned' this year, but I know it was going on around me just not like what I had heard abou) and singing and dancing.

And naked people.

I hear that no San Francisco event would be complete without naked people. They seem to be a staple of this city’s life. Without them, the city would seem, well, naked.

It was sunny out most of the time sans some cloud cover in spots and a bit of rain only once (it was supposed to be a downpour and stormy!)

I wonder if their hoo-hoo-dillies and poonanies got sunburned.

There were some fantastic clothed costumes and vessels as well. A group of people built a pink Cadillac out of wood, cardboard, and other assorted materials, and rode in it. Another group had a pirate ship (also of wood and cardboard, I think), complete with a sail.

There was the huge birthday cake (they actually won the overall prize; it WAS fantastic looking in person!!), shouting “Happy Birthday!” to everyone they passed.  It was afterall the 100th birthday of this spectacle of a race!

If you looked to your left, you’d see people dressed as tea bags. If you looked to your right, you’d see people dressed in Hawaiian grass skirts and leis. If you looked in front of you, you’d see the Simpsons, the Mario Brothers and of course I saw a lot of Smurf people! And a lot of Superheros!

And if you looked behind you, you’d see more people. Really. More naked people. They’re all around; and they even know they’re naked! Ha!  So as I stated I didnt run with my camera or my phone, but I found enough of other peoples pictures of some of the ones I did see along the way!!!

I think these people must be there every year.  One guys salmon outfit looked a bit worn.  They were running 'upstream'; going against the mass of runners/people right down the middle of the damn road!

This had to have been HOT and difficult!!

I liked seeing the Mario Bros!

I actually saw a few of Thing 1 and 2's

Lots of Smurf pods of people!

Birthday Cake!  I saw this right at the beginning.  I heard they almost took out the Finish line!

One random naked dude...just so you know that they were out least this guy wasnt old OR overweight

1 comment:

Stephen K. said...

I'm the "random naked dude." Thanks for the kind comment, since I was actually 56 years old at the time! :-)
No kidding!