Back On Track!

Week before last was a nightmare all the way around.  I had overextended myself with plans on several nights, then Heather passed away and that took away a couple more of my days...

 

And everything just went blah.

 

On that Saturday though, I met up with my peeps for our 'long' run (I am only doing 7 miles on Saturdays right now and will continue that distance for a couple more weeks), and from that point on I got back on track.

 

Not only with my workouts but especially with my food. 

 

After just a week of back to working out regularly and eating properly I noticed a HUGE difference the past couple of days.  Clothes are feeling great again, I don't avoid the mirror with my naked self and we are moving in the right direction!

 

I've actually got myself on a pretty strict eating regime, which I won't really document due to the fact that too many folks would be put off by it first off and we'll just leave it at that.

 

I KNOW what works for me, and thats the end of that.

 

Its challenging to say the least, but my mind is right, so its not feeling like a chore.  There ARE times I want to go off track and I stay as focused as I can.

 

I did buy a pint of orange swirl this weekend, and had the littlest bowl possible ever of it.  It was DELICIOUS.

 

I've been journaling and making mental notes of my triggers and my struggles.  That helps too. 

 

So many I know have fallen into some sort of difficulty with their health recently and to be honest I get it.  But we all have to find our own strength and willpower and take it ONE. DAY. AT. A. TIME.

 

An example: right now, as I type this I am extremely hungry.  Well something is.  I FEEL hungry.  But I know what I JUST ate and I KNOW that it was PLENTY of food and nutrients.

 

Yes we are back to the embrace your hunger stage.  And it actually feels amazing.

 

Workouts are going great as well!  I haven't driven into town for 3 Saturdays now, and have just been running with a group of women here from work at TH.  Its actually been really awesome and I enjoy the company and we always go somewhere after, usually SBux for iced coffee and chat for about another 45min or so.

 

Now that July is about to happen, my budget is reset so I am hoping that the gym has a join special in the next week or so.  I am still making do with the onsite facility, but I REALLY REALLY miss lifting heavy!  The dumbbells, while yes are heavy just are not the same as plates, weighted bars etc. for true CrossFit style of moves I enjoy AND THAT WORK.

 

For now at least I plan to still keep my long running out here and not with Kenyan Way.  I suspect once August gets here and my mileage starts creeping up I will drive into town for the support and the different routes. 

 

I will say I am actually glad now that I ran yesterday too, which I never do anymore, because now I dont have to run today; I can just focus on HIIT and some relaxed elliptical work.

 

Ciao!

 



Things I am Loving Right Now

I always like when other bloggers do their Loving Right Now posts...and so I thought I would do one.  I always think oooh I need to blog about this because its so awesome I should share, but then I don't.

So here ya go!


 

These Boyfriend cuffed jean shorts!  I bought a pair a little over a week ago on a whim, and planned to take them back if I hated them once they arrived (yes I still order online sometimes because its convenient).  But OMGoodness I absolutely looooooooooooooooved them.  So I ordered another pair in the wash seen above.  So absolutely comfy and best part about them is you don't have to have a boyfriend to enjoy ;o)

Where:  Old Navy

This grocery store!!!
Where:  Sprouts
I have so many choices now I sometimes find myself overwhelmed!  What is kinda bad, but not really, is that I have fav items at Sprouts, Whole Foods and Costco.  So I try to stock up on those favs when I make the trip so I don't have to go to 5 different grocery stores each week.  My every week stores are the HUGE HEB store, or Kroger.  I spend less at Kroger, which sometimes I choose over HEB because of that very fact (impulse buying strategies in retail are not lost on me!).  But SPROUTS IS AMAZING!!!  If you have access to one, give it a try.  Yes its pricier, but less than Whole Foods, LOVE LOVE LOVE their store brands on so many items.  I also limit my WF's, Sprouts, Costco visits because impulse buying tendancies.
Soon we will have Trader Joes...and thats just a whole 'nother post just on its own :)

My employer!!
I have the same job (only a bit more responsibility for sure), that I have had basically forever...well not forever, but for a long time whether or not it was always called Business Analyst or not, it was in some form or fashion still the same basically.  In IT forever too..I don't know any differently, but sometimes I do think I might be better suited on the business side doing analysis, but I am still very content, especially here at my new place.  At Cabela's that was NOT the case, especially the last year.  I wanted out of IT so badly there, and while the opportunity presented itself a couple of times, it fell through, and now I know why.  I wasn't supposed to be there.  I was supposed to be HERE.  Back in Texas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As mentioned above, I love Sprouts Farmers Market.  What I love is that they have a lot of their own private labled items that I can't get (or at least havent seen) anywhere else.  Its a lot like Traders Joes.  The majority of the store is Sprouts Market branded.  I came across this Quinoa, Brown and Wild Rice blend, thought it sounded interesting (I like all 3, but not really so much so on their own; I generally buy a wild/brown rice blend).  OMG SO DELICIOUS!  So yesterday morning, B and I had met in the Sprouts parking lot of a short run, afterwards I popped in and bought 4 more boxes to keep on hand.

OK tata for now!



Still On The Fence

Before I started running in 2005 I guess it was, I was always a gym rat.  One of my fav stories to tell sometimes is how I, for YEARS scoffed at runners and running and for that matter, cardio in general.

I NEVER did cardio.  And I was small, muscle-y and fit.  I had a tendancy to become developed and cut quite easily when I set my mind to it.  I obviously had periods of time where going to the gym wasn't exactly priority.

I started the running and cardio at the suggestion of a friend when I was struggling so badly with the onset of the weight gain, pre diagnosis.

By the time I was diagnosed I actually enjoyed running so I kept at it and along with the meds, the running helped me get my weight back under control.

It was in late 2009/2010 when I made a drastic change not only to my eating habits but also to my activity routine.  I started going back to the gym (we had one onsite at the AIG campus and once again, I saw a HUGE return on my effort, getting into quite possibly the best shape of my life.

I then moved into a new community where I had free access to a GREAT gym over in the Heights, so I cancelled the work gym thing..and kept at it.  Also dabbling in CrossFit etc.

Then after moving to Nebraska, a lot of things I was going through early on, fitness took a back seat.  Then Winter happened...etc.  I did join the gym there (community center) but with my increasing lack of interest of being there, generally unhappy and feeling so secluded, with only the gym sometimes to do, well you can only spend so much time in a gym.  I could have done more, but honestly I was depressed and just didn't have the desire to do more than 'just enough'.

The last couple of months in NE I had started doing a lot of weight lifting etc., and it was working well...then came the I am leaving Nebraska forever thing and all the time spent on that..

So here I am 2 years older, and about 10 lbs heavier.  It could be a combination of menopause, slowing metabolism and the overall lack of intensity, and/or that I think I am eating less than I am.

I just recently started REALLY watching everything...trying to up the intensity, scale back on mindless eating etc and get back to that mindset of late 2009/early 2010.  Yes I am older now, and that comes with its own set of challenges that are hard to counteract...but I know I should be doing all I can.

And JUST running quite frankly...does absolutely NOTHING for an aging body for the majority of us.  I learned that the last training cycle in 2013 while training for Chicago marathon.

So less running, more weights.  And just MORE balance in all forms of activity.  It truly makes me the best person inside and out...

So in my new place, we do have a really nice gym however it lacks in free weight kind of equipment which is the most effective IMHO.  I am making do with what they have, but its not enough for me.

So I have been going back and forth on joining the massive, wonderful, full amenities out the wazoo gym about 1/2 mile away, but the cost (at least initially) was making me question it.

Now I keep getting emails with the price always way lower..and its tempting, only now being about $6 more a month than what I was paying in NE for MUCH MUCH less.

I know I would be much happier if I had the facility...so I know I am eventually going to cave...but I still just get one leg over the fence and no follow through!

Now that I have written this all out...I really need to just do it!!

One thing I love about writing...I generally solve a lot of my issues by just putting pen to paper (so to speak).

Life IS a Box of Chocolates

Delicious, oooey, gooey, and wonderful in all ways.

 

I have been disheartened a bit lately and I will try and explain why; not sure that I can in the most delicate way (not my personality really to be 'delicate'), but I will try.

 

Here's the thing.  I don't know why ... I use to think it was just Facebook, and that some people I knew were using it as an outlet for whatever was pissing them off that day.  And it appeared that some people were just always in a foul mood.  At least 80% of the time.

 

I mean complaining about EVERYTHING.  And when not complaining, just overall grumpy mcgrumperson about something whether or not it was too much to do, not enough time to do it in, can't take a nap, feel like crap, eat too much, eat too little and on and on and on and on.

 

But then, on a few occasions (and only a few because honestly I have to limit my time with certain folks because I cannot endure the attitude because its toxic to me and just overall makes me unhappy), I have noticed that even outside of Facebook, they genuinely and outwardly project negativity.

 

I RARELY see a different side to them.

 

Now I have tried to be fair and think back to my own life at certain times, to see if I was ever 'that person' and honestly I can't say I was.  Sure I was miserable a few times in my life, most recently in Nebraska but I was still happy.  I was still successful at reeling in any negative feelings and not stressing myself out over any small things in general.

 

And even years and/or decades ago, I ENJOYED life.

 

Things make us sad for sure.  But again, I tend to grieve in such a way that I don't give cause to have any sad thing define me. 

 

I have realized over the past decade, even more so the past 2 years, that EVERY day is a gift.  To get so unrealisticly upset over something so random such as traffic, stupid drivers, stupid whatever is just beyond ridiculous.

 

I don't know if it is because I am older, or just all around a happy well rounded (and now balanced) person that I see the silver lining in everything, even the annoying things, or just because I am wired that way.  I have an extremely happy family as well.  Maybe its that.  I don't know.

 

Really the only thing that brings me super down is being in the company of negativity.  On Facebook, blogs etc. its easy enough to ignore.  More often than not, I just shake my head, and say a little prayer for that person.

 

I wish it weren't this way, because its a few of my closer friends, and I am not sure what to do or say.  And honestly I've learned the hard way a time or two that you just don't say anything anymore.

 

Now that I've written this, it actually just makes me sad for them. 

 

I would literally hate to wake up every day and know that for about 80% of it I was probably going to be miserable about something.

I think every day we make a gazillion choices a day, and choosing how we handle any particular situation is ultimately EACH PERSONS DECISION, and when we make bad choices, or choices that make us ultimately unhappy, then thats on us.  No one else.

 

OK thats it for now..just talking (or blogging) about it makes me yukky.

 

Onward!  Upward!  Yay for Thursday!  Yay for everything!

Don't Be Sad that It's Over, Be Happy That It Happened ---- Dr. Seuss

It's been a VERY, very trying past 6 days or so.

 

My body, my mind and most certainly my heart has grown so weary.

 

I've been in shock, then not in shock, then in denial, then just in a deep, dark place overall.

 

I know in life that everything is not always as it may seem...I mean even just like on Instagram, where everything can be filtered out, and as humans we can even filter out what is tearing us up on the inside by flashing smiles, laughing like there is no tomorrow, posting our perfect scenarios on Facebook...

 

You can even show up in tiaras, tutu's, pigtails and boas and still be silently suffering on the inside.

 

To give some idea of what I am talking about, a very dear and close friend of mine died some time last Thursday night/Friday morning.

 

I have known her for the better part of 12 years.  I introduced her to anyone and everyone I knew.  We chased the lights of honky tonks from here to Oklahoma, and we did it because we were also chasing the music.

 

The sound of fiddles and guitars, and of course, the men that played them.

 

I have SO many memories of her, and while yes geography and some lifestyle changes might have caused us to not be as crazy as we once were (me, not her, she was still living the life of a free spirit), nothing in this life can dissolve true love between friends.

 

I don't know what she might have been feeling back then...on the inside...if the pain she felt that was too big of a cross to bear, was something that was simmering or if time and life situations slowly added fuel to a simmering fire, but somewhere along the way, that simmering fire had grown to the size of fire as big as the wildfires each summer in Colorado.

 

I take some comfort in knowing that it wasn't just myself that missed the signs, or if there truly were any...I don't know.  I hadn't seen her in a few years.  Only pictures on Facebook.  Pictures of her as I had always known her.  Dressed in crazy clothes, at some fair..or with our mutual friends.  Listening to music.  Dancing like no one was watching.

 

Of her with her daughter who had grown from a tiny tot that I once knew into a young woman.

 

A young woman with troubles of her own, but then I would see Heather...doing what mothers do to save their child.

 

It all just seemed to have been this tragic accident.  A fight with your daughter, not unusual.  Probably a glass or two of wine.  Also not unusual.  And maybe just maybe something to help one sleep without the mind racing...also not unusual.

 

But the combination was something, that for whatever reason was not what it was supposed to be that evening.

 

A horrible tragic accident as I said.  A life taken way too soon by an accidential overdose.

 

I believed it.  I certainly didn't believe some of the whisperings of 'what if' that our friends were suggesting.

 

If I had one dollar to my name, I would have bet that dollar that this was nothing more than just an accident.

 

Then on Tuesday morning, I find out that indeed the pain inside was just too much for her to bear anymore and that Heather had chosen to do what so many of us may think as unthinkable.

 

She took her own life.

We drove to Austin yesterday...to say goodbye to our friend.  The room couldn't hold everyone.  I was not surprised.  Well I was surprised...surprised that they didn't count on that and get a bigger room.

I saw people I hadn't seen for a long time.  I hugged the necks, kissed the tear stained cheeks and stared into their eyes and hearts also filled with questions.

And regret. 

I wish I had texted her back sooner.
I wish I hadn't been asleep.
I wish I had gone out with her.
I wish I had taken the 2 seconds to respond to her FB message.

So many regrets.
But so many more questions.

And very little answers.

There were letters.  But the contents of those letters will be reserved for the family I suppose.

Suicide is, to many people, a sin.  And to a lot more, just something that you don't talk about ... shameful I would suspect.

I don't know.  I haven't had to deal with this ever.  I've been reading up on some things around it...and while many, myself included, always thought that yes that person was being selfish, in their minds, its the LEAST selfish thing.

I am not going to go into all that I have read, because well, the internet is free and vast for anyone who wants to look into it.

I think, at least for myself, that I have felt true immense pain in my heart and my head.  I didn't for MANY years due to self medicating, but I will say that once I got clean and sober and went through my first relationship that was tumultious to begin with where I was at least a time or two crumpled on the floor crying so hard it also physically hurt, and then of course the death of my mother...so yeah, that to me was pain that made me just want to 'curl up and die'.

Only not really.

Those are pains we as humans are generally equipped to deal with and yes, even live through.

But then....there are those pains that I, nor probably many of you reading, will never know of or feel.

I will never forget her...and I certainly will not blame her for the pain I feel right now.  I will love her and remember her.

Forever.



Take Me Out To The Ball Dog Park....

If there is ONE thing that I have just been hoping and hoping for upon returning to TX is when I could GET A DOGGIE!  It hasn't happened yet, but I hope to figure out something soon...I SO want a dog to run with, not to mention the fun times we could have either at the dog park there where I live or the numerous dog parks in and around the Houston area!

So because of my inane desire to get a doggie, I tend to follow and like a LOT of doggie sites and pages on Facebook.

And one of them just happens to be DogVacay!  You have to like their page!  The cuteness overload kills me every day!!!

So when they reached out to me to do a fun little blog post about doggies and their humans exercise I thought sure! 

Granted its taken me a couple of weeks, but I've been extremely busy with work and life.

Something else that I liked was that it wasn't to be a post about JUST running; since at one point in time, this blog was ALLLLLLLLLL about the running, but obviously that is not the case anymore.

My activity is varied and I honestly love it!  When I looked at the image sent to me to use in the blog post, I was like "oh I know all of these moves!!!"   These are moves that I and just about everyone else knows how to do and you dont need fancy equipment to do either.  Just you, yourself...and maybe your furry companion who will watch you like you are crazy!  OR they will try and play with you completely sabotaging your form and concentration.

The movements (and one running item) can be done in any number of sets, OR you could just start out by doing one set of each of these, adding a set after a week or so; the adjustment period as I call it whenever starting new things.  I can tell you if you don't do squats, then 4 sets of 15 squats is gonna make you a little ouchy in a day or two...so work up!

And then of course there is always some nice relaxing yoga to end the session!  Heck I do those sometimes just to relax after a run whether its outside or inside on the treadmill.  It JUST FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELS GOOOOOOOD...

Plus I know whenever I do these in mi casa and my little Nugget kitty is around, he is just all up in my face and in my way...its him showing love to his Momma and I bet a doggie would be the same way.  Maybe even sprawl out with you especially if you just came in from outside!

So take a cue from the furry wonderful loving playful doggies, whether its your own, or a friends or your neighbor and just have some fun getting fit!!!

One note though...I think I would make sure if you are in the dog park doing any of these, check the ground for dog doo-doo!  hee hee.

Sleep. Sleep My Pretty...

 

If there is one thing that I do NOT skimp on is sleep.  Not intentionally anyway.

 

For several years I have had what I would call a mild issue with sleeping in that not that I could not fall asleep, but that I would wake several times throughout the night, but again, no problem falling back to sleep.  But the interuption was enough to make me feel somewhat tired more often than I liked.

 

I had spoken to my endoronolgist and my OB/GYN, thinking maybe it was the Synthroid (could be), hormones (could be)...etc. 

 

So basically when I REALLY felt like I needed good solid sleep I'd take an over the counter pill and that would do the trick.  If I had to say how many times I did this, I would say 1-2 times a month.

 

Then when I moved to Nebraska everything changed.  I began sleeping through the night with no issues whatsoever.  Like the best sleep ever kind of sleep.  The only thing that still bothered me was that I was waking up so dang early.  Always by 5am, rarely any later than that, and sometimes even 4:30am.  FULLY rested.  Now this could be because my body had just naturally accustomerd to that time from so many years of getting up early to run, or that yes, I go to bed early.

 

When I started thinking about it, if I went to bed at 9 or even 9:30pm, that was a good solid 7 hours.  I know people that would kill for a good solid 7 hours of sleep.  But even when I would stay up till 10 or 10:30pm, I still woke up early.

 

It is said that the older you get, the less sleep you require, which makes me sad because there is very little that I love more than sleep.

 

In trying to figure out why the drastic change it HAS to be that somewhere along the way I became a light sleeper in that any noise or light would wake me.  When I think about it, that had to be it.  The constant sirens, the lights from the parking garage, the cars and people coming home in the wee hours of the morning, bass pumping in the car, yelling etc.  When I moved to Sidney, it was darker than dark and quieter than quiet.  And I was in a house, not apartments.

 

So when I was moving back to Houston I thought oh man...I'm going to have issues again, but I am here to say that is not the case!  Thankfully whoever built these new apartments did it well to where I hear NOTHING.  Even though the tollway is right there, lights from the other buildings...its awesome.  We have had some pretty major thunderstorms and rains, and I just sleep through the night.

 

Additionally about 2 weeks after moving back I bought new mattress/box spring (love!) and a comfy squishy mattress topper as well (not THRILLED with it but its good enough for the time being).  So I am sure that has something to do with it as well. 

 

I am of course, still waking up super early even though now I go to bed generally around 10:15 or so, but between my body clock and the Nugget who also likes to wake up early to go outside, well its a miracle if I stay in bed past 5:30.  Although this morning we DID stay asleep till 5:30 and it was MARVELOUS!

 

I also have noticed that the heat/humidity/workouts/runs that I do generally wear me out like no other so I sleep VERY good.  I did remember some of the best sleeps I would have was after a long hot sweaty run on Saturdays with KW, shower and then fall into bed exhausted mostly from the heat and sleep like there was no tomorrow.

 

I see SO many of my friends on Facebook, younger and older, that just always post about their sleep issues i.e. insomnia etc., and I just don't get it.  The only time I can say I have ever had insomnia, is when trying to go to sleep and my mind is racing about something and all I do is start counting slowly and the next thing I know I'm waking up the next morning. 

 

I am just thankful that any issues I think I might have, are nothing compared to others that I am seeing.  A few of them actually seem to have insomnia every single night, posting about whatever they are watching at 2-5am or just posting about having it on any given day in general.  I think dang, guess I am not going to worry so much about me waking up after 7 hours of sleep; but sometimes I WISH I could just sleep for like 9 hours like I use to be able to do.  Although that was back when I was in an alcohol induced coma or having taken 4 Tylenol PMs after being up for 3-4 days just so I could fall asleep.  Oy.

 

I know that sleep is so important for recovery of any type of exercise but it is also so important to overall health so I am very passionate about making sure I get the rest and sleep that I need.  If I was having issues like so many of my friends, I'd definitely see a doctor but thats just me.

 

Lack of sleep is just the catalyst for so many things that are harmful.  I've seen it for myself in others with the way their skin looks, their MOOD and overall stress level at the simplest of things that otherwise IMHO shouldnt be provoking some of the anxiety and lack of patience I see.  Lordy. 

 

So remember kids, get your rest.  Its important now and will be important later!!!